Highway Star

by J.D. Cook

I have just returned from traversing the American Auto Bahn and I must say I am disappointed. Disappointed enough to not care whether I spelled Auto Bahn wrong. It seems to me there are a large group of things very wrong with people evident on the Interstate.

Racers
-These folk are not content with cruising along at 70mph and must seek cheaper thrills by leap frogging from car to car at upwards of 90mph.

Trucks
-Boy do they suck. Either they go to slow and you can’t see around them. Or you pass them and they take it as an insult and try and run you off the road.

The Interstate Itself
-Misleading signs, misleading lanes, and misleading me.

Begrudgers
-Why must people you pass because they are going at grandma speeds decide to speed up only once you have passed them?

Grandmas
-Or Grandpas I am not grandist. When the minimum speed is 65 who goes 40?

Me
-Damn I hope no one ever encounters me on a highway. When alone I tend to yell out the window at passers by, race people, annoy trucks, follow bad signs, chase people begrudgingly, and pass grandparents…