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Avengers Assembly in April

April 29, 2012
By J.D. Cook


It was an April morning when they told us we should go…

When I woke up on April 28th I thought to myself, “I definitely should not go into Manhattan today.” My roommate and fellow writer for this site Oliver Layco wanted me to venture into the city to buy my tickets to the midnight release of Marvel’s The Avengers. Unfortunately, I had a paper due on April 30th. The smart thing, the responsible thing to do, would have been to stay home grind out a paper and forget about seeing the sun. Then there was this other voice in my head; it said…SCREW THAT! So it was that I decided to go meet Oliver at Union Square Park in order to walk down the west side of Manhattan where we would end up at our favorite Regal to buy our tickets. I assumed the whole trip would take a little under 3 hours putting me back at school in time to start my paper. How wrong I was!

We met at one of my favorite little comic book stores Forbidden Planet. This is the kind of comic store I wish I had grown up with and the exact one you would expect to find near Union Square. Its hip, employs cool people in the nerd know, and most importantly gives student discounts! After picking up the new “Mass Effect” comic and “Avengers Vs X-Men #0” (I know issue zero makes no sense but whatever) we started walking down towards our favorite Regal.

The GoatOn the way down the west side of Manhattan, Oliver and I spotted something particularly interesting. It was a goat! Suddenly we both grabbed our crucifixes and doused the goat in holy water! We knew enough to spot Satan in a disguise! Unfortunately, the goat’s owner did not find this very funny and quickly removed a gun from under his long trench coat. I heroically pushed Olive out of the way prepared to take the shots from his weapon,  but luckily Oliver’s quick reflexes resulted in the throwing of his special turtle shaped throwing stars. The man was down and out before he knew what hit him. The goat transformed into his hellish form and ran off before we could get him. Of course this last part may have been embellished a bit, but what the hell; we did see a goat!

Finally, we found ourselves in the midst of the Tribecca Film Festival’s family day. We had not intended to wind up here when our journey started but we both like a good adventure so we frolicked about for a bit. There was a group of eight year old’s singing AC-DC’s “Highway to Hell”. Then we heard a catchy tune about monsters going bye bye…hey it was family day! After exploring the place a bit we found ourselves near the Borough of Manhattan Community College.  For some strange reason we found ourselves drawn up the stairs; we literally had no reason except our own natural interest in exploring places we’ve never been. At the top we rested on a bench and things took a fortuitous turn. A man asked us if this was the place for The Avengers Premiere. Neither of us new but we suddenly had an objective that could potentially be nearby. We did some recon of the area and found guard’s posted at every entrance to the building nearby. They all seemed to be watching us far too intently for things to be business as usual. Suspicious we headed to the front of the building only to discover Tribecca’s red carpet complete with Tom Hiddleston who plays Loki in The Avengers.

ThorWe quickly found a good spot and observed as Chris Hemswort (Thor) arrived next. We couldn’t believe our luck! It was one of the moments where you wonder if some giant divine hand put us in the right spot at the right time and our boyish screams of excitement said it all. Next up came Iron Man himself, Robert Downey Jr! He looked about as cool as a human being could possibly be and he was the only celebrity who I saw sign things for the few fans assembled before us.

Marty McFlyAfter this we were completely surprised by the arrival of Michael J. Fox. Oliver is a huge Back to the Future Fan; so he used his one opportunity with Fox present to yell, “We have to go back Marty!” After this Shaun White the famous snowboarder arrived and our day was complete…almost.

The last two people to arrive and visually stun us were Ms. Universe and Ms. America. Ms. America wore a blouse that was completely open down the middle. I am a simple boy from Pennsylvania and my life is now complete after viewing this. Too bad Oliver only got a blurry picture that does not do her bodacious rack justice – I apologize for the loss of my gentlemanly disposition but it was like a laser beam of hotness that short circuited my brain right out – where am I now?

Iron ManAfter this fortuitous event we headed down to finally get those tickets to see the Avengers at midnight. Neither of us could head back to school without trying to get another glimpse of those celebrities so after getting some food at a small barbecue place called Blue Smoke we returned. Unfortunately, Blue Smoke liked to blow smoke as I ordered and appetizer that said it had sausage and I literally got a thumb to index finger amount…for ten dollars. The service was very friendly though and the 1% sat across from I and Oliver so that was kind of cool.  Sadly no celebrities were spotted on the way out of the festival. We were just about to quit and go home when what should my tiring eyes see, but Ms. America and Ms. Universe leaving the film. I walked within inches of her on the way out and the view was beyond wonderful. With my life now complete I plan on retiring and writing my memoirs. I do hope you will all buy them; Ciao!


J.D. Cook

I'm Jerry...Housewares...and writer...overall Renaissance Man

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